Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Presently, there has been a ubiquitous debate about the role of famous figures.

While

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some hold the view that some well-known characters have a malignant effect on society, others have a diverse perspective.

However

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, I am of the stance that some celebrities play an indispensable role in influencing future generations in a constructive way. In the following lines, the

previously-mentioned

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previously mentioned

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points will be thoroughly elaborated. On the one hand, some influencers may have a deleterious impact on young people because of their erroneous deeds.

In other words

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, if actors with unacceptable behaviours are imitated by their fans, wrongdoings will become pervasive among a sector of the public.

For instance

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, Mohamed Ramadan, a renowned Egyptian actor, is notoriously known for his movies which diffuse atrocities, encourage smoking, and normalise the drinking of alcoholic beverages.

Hence

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, what can be deduced is that some glamorous figures may have a negative effect on their fans.

On the other hand

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, several luminaries play a crucial role in shaping and improving their admirers’ traits. When entertainers make monetary donations to philanthropic organisations and take part in awareness campaigns to combat addiction, they constructively affect young men and women.

For example

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, Mohamed Salah, a famous Egyptian football player, occasionally donates to charitable associations and raises public awareness about drug addiction, and

this

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has encouraged many young Egyptians to follow his lead.

Thus

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, what can be inferred is that some glamorous figures can be a beacon for their followers to follow. In conclusion,

after

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this

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essay has manifested the aforementioned points, it can be reiterated that celebrities may have merits and demerits.

Although

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they may have an adverse on minors. they may have a benign impact on them as well. In my view, famous people should be granted lucrative salaries as long as they impact our society positively.

aeldawy95Sat Jun 24 2023

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task response

Provide a more balanced discussion of both views in the essay in order to fully address the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical structure, with a well-developed introduction and conclusion.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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