IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 century,
regarding
Change preposition
with
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population and new technology
societies
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 lifestyle has been
charged
Correct your spelling
changed
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, some people believe that
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of particular
spices
Correct your spelling
species
show examples
 of
plants
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the
majer
Correct your spelling
major
 environmental
Use synonyms
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 but others think that there are more important than
Use synonyms
plants
Fix the agreement mistake
plant
show examples
 or
animals
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
. So, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look at both sites of issues and give an example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 them.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
Change noun form
generation's
show examples
 lifestyle is changed. They have
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 fast
life
Use synonyms
 method because they are consumed
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 world sources too rapidly.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not only do they
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their responsibility
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 keeping the environment
such
Linking Words
 as trees or mountains but they
also
Linking Words
 destroy animal's
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
like birds.
For example
Linking Words
,recent charts show that some countries are
polluted
Wrong verb form
polluting
show examples
 the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 seas because of waste contamination water which causes disease for special sea
animals
Use synonyms
 like snakes. In
this
Linking Words
 way, because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population governments try to extend cities by cutting down the forest and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 countryside residents. So, they destroy
habitats
Correct article usage
the habitats
show examples
 of rear species of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
plants
Use synonyms
 in the jungle.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that there are more important environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 like
nukler
Correct your spelling
nuclear
nuker
* energy.
Linking Words
thus
Correct your spelling
Thus
show examples
, they believe that neither it can remove
plants
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 nor it can destroy human
life
Use synonyms
. But,
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
 powers use
this
Linking Words
 technology to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity power and nuclear weapons too.
For example
Linking Words
, in the second war between USA and Japan in 1945,
USE
Correct article usage
the USE
show examples
 government used that weapon for one of the metropolitan cities which
name
Wrong verb form
named
show examples
 is HIROSHIMA and destroyed the
hole
Correct your spelling
whole
show examples
 city in the second world war they made a big calamity.
Therefore
Linking Words
, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 war
expensive
Add a missing verb
is expensive
show examples
, new societies think that they have
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
problems
Use synonyms
 than
plants
Use synonyms
 or
animals
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in recent
century
Fix the agreement mistake
centuries
show examples
 powers destroy
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 habitat for making modern residents for their citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they use nuclear technology to make
powers
Fix the agreement mistake
power
show examples
 and weapons
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: