IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people today are becoming overly dependent on the internet and phones. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the
internet
Use synonyms
 spreads its legs to every nook and cranny of the world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the usage of advanced technologies like smartphones and computers is increasing day by day, and
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more familiar with these gadgets. The following paragraphs contain a detailed study of
this
Linking Words
 school of thought. On the one hand, the
internet
Use synonyms
 connects
people
Use synonyms
 globally. In the modern age, folks relocate to better careers far away from their loved ones, but with the use of different types of social applications, they can easily connect with their near and dear.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
Internet
Use synonyms
Verb problem
has modernized
show examples
modernized
Use the right word
modernised
show examples
 the way
students
Use synonyms
 study, and
students
Use synonyms
 learn across
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
border
Fix the agreement mistake
borders
show examples
 more efficiently.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Wikipedia is the best example of
this
Linking Words
 technology for
students
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 learn new skills from the
internet
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can buy many things from online shopping stores, saving precious time and money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has a few demerits.
People
Use synonyms
 use
this
Linking Words
 technology unlimitedly and
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 mental disorders; they live imaginary lives and are far away from their personal relationships. Especially teenagers often use these devices unnecessarily, like couch potatoes. The young generation plays many types of games, like PAPG, Call of Duty, etc. When children are involved in the latest types of games with uncertain limits, they destroy their future.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has more benefits than pitfalls. The
internet
Use synonyms
 gives
people
Use synonyms
 ample time and many ways to learn easily and efficiently from all over the world.
People
Use synonyms
 can work globally from their homes.
However
Linking Words
, it is quite dangerous for teenagers because they
Verb problem
get involve
show examples
involve
Replace the word
involved
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in risky
stages
Check wording
behaviour
show examples
.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main points by clearly stating them in the topic sentences of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to improve the flow between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is fully developed with examples or details to strengthen your argument.
content
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of internet use, which shows a balanced view.
content
You included examples, like social applications and online shopping, which makes your points more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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