The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is some trajectory that assumes that
news
reports in the media are harmful to individuals and society
as a whole if they are focusing more on problems and emergencies than positive developments. I completely agree that people
from society
observe the news
from many sources but if there show
only problems or negative things, it will make Verb problem
are
people
or society
in a bad way.
Firstly
, the most dangerous thing that can change the thinking of humans is where
the sources or contents that they observe. Rephrase
apply
In other words
, if the news
only reports bad things to people
who are reading or watching them, it will make their brains think that the negative things are normal in the everyday life of them. This
means that it is not only harmful to people
but also
to the whole society
where they live. At the moment, Irish people
who watch negative news
have got more emotional in a bad way when something happens. However
, this
report is not worldwide, and there are some countries that might not affect
by these happenings, but not Ireland.
The other reason is that Wrong verb form
be affected
people
will develop their minds from where they lived
. Wrong verb form
live
This
is the common thought in the Thailand curriculum that telling people
will become where the environment of
them be. So if they live with pain, negative thinking, chaos, problems, and so on, the way Change preposition
apply
how
they think Rephrase
apply
are
less positive ways. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
This
means it is very harmful to people
who do not know how to manage their feelings.
In conclusion, the ways that are harmful to people
and society
as a whole is the environments, in which human lived
, Wrong verb form
live
such
as the tendency of news
reports.Submitted by odod_aja on
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task achievement
Stay on point. While introducing various aspects of the issue in your essay, try not to go off tangent. The relevance of your examples could be more pronounced if it directly addresses the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clearly identifiable introduction, main body and conclusion. However, work on enhancing the link between paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Your nuance of vocabulary demonstrated in the essay is appropriate and aids in the conveyance of your ideas. Work on increasing the range of vocabulary and implementing more complex lexicon within your work.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammatical range being used within the essay is on the right track. However, there are some sentences with awkward construction and redundancy that could be improved. Keep practicing with complex sentences and punctuation usage.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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