In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#countries #students #suicide #year

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It has become increasingly common for many pupils

have

Fix the infinitive

to have

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problems

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in their school , leading to deteriorating standards of

behavior

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behaviour

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. Some people believe that parents should negotiate responsibilities with

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students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

lives .

However

Linking Words

, I think we should look after the lives of

students

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

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we should discuss

this

Linking Words

problem. No one can deny the fact that it is important to take care of the physical and mental health of

students

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in school and we should sympathize with

problems

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which

students

Use synonyms

met

Wrong verb form

meet

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, but recently ,

students

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do not have the freedom to do anything and are stressed about scores. The immediate result it produces is pupils have

lower

Add an article

a lower

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standard of living , so they have many

disease

Change to a plural noun

diseases

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about health like depression .Perhaps the most obvious result of

that is

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

will have deteriorating standards of

behavior

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behaviour

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like suicide or

society

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societal

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vices .Nothing could be apparent

Linking Words

then

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than

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evidence that

In japan

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in Japan

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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teenager

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teenage

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suicide has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

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increased and

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not have anything

about

Change preposition

show examples

reduce .

By contrast

Linking Words

, we should sympathize with

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

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.Probably there is some truth in the idea that have many

problems

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in society which we should cut down. On

other

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the other

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hand , one thing

thich

Correct your spelling

which

is equally important is that the government takes the lead to reduce these

problems

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. The police take the interest of

students

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into account or should have many outdoor activities ,

that

Correct word choice

and

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it is

also

Linking Words

responsible for pupils to polish up their lifestyle and mentality .As

result

Add an article

a result

show examples

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

students

Use synonyms

do not have bad things or bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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In addition

Linking Words

, we should bring information about student's rights is widely disseminated by mass media . The most familiar example of

this

Linking Words

Add a missing verb

is In

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switzerland

Change the capitalization

Switzerland

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has the highest happiness rate because the government always focus on improving the lives of people . By

contrasting

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contrast

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, we should not exercise

Correct your spelling

too

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much control over their

students

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. In conclusion ,

students

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or teenager is

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

, so the government or people should

Add a missing verb

be interest

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interest

Replace the word

interested

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of more their life and sympathize with them

Submitted by sinh.ielts on Sun Jun 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction, a thesis statement, and a conclusion that summarize the main points. Be sure to include these to frame your essay properly and guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ideas in the essay are quite disorganized and sometimes difficult to follow. It is important to use clear paragraphing with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.

task achievement

The response to the task is incomplete and the essay does not adequately address the reasons for student suicide nor does it offer specific solutions. Ensure that you directly answer the question by explaining reasons and proposing realistic solutions. Expand on the points with detailed justifications and examples.

task achievement

The essay sometimes deviates from the topic and includes general statements that do not provide clear and comprehensive ideas. It is essential to stay focused on the topic and develop ideas that are relevant to the question.

task achievement

The examples provided are insufficient and not fully relevant, which affects the overall task response. Use more specific examples to support your points, and make sure they are directly related to the topic at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

337 words

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In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many Western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children for study what are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children?

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment, such as course work and projects, is not a satisfactory way to do this. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.