The pie charts below show the avarage household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010

The pie charts below show the avarage household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010
The provided pie chart presented information about the amount of 5
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
the household expenditures (
hosing
Correct your spelling
housing
show examples
, transport,food, health care and other goods and services)in between Japan and Malaysia in 2010 years.
It is clear that
the proportion of spending
Change preposition
on
show examples
other goods and services decreased
while
housing and food increased. We can see that the most preferred
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
show examples
which was used by people was other goods and services making up 29% in Japan
however
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
figures dropped to 29% in Malaysia. 20% of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart belonged to transport which was the fourth wanted the household expenditures.
This
householding expenditure fall to 10%. By contracts,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care was the least
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
householding expenditure between Japan and Malaysia
however
this
experienced fall to 3%. The figure for food was representing 24% and jumped to 27%. Regarding details, housing was chosen by people with 21%
while
this
figure
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
has grown
show examples
to 34%.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: