Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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For decades, music togetherness has been increasing among citizens from all around the world. Some believe that tone reunions are the best way of gathering people from different backgrounds. I completely agree with

this

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point of view. In

this

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essay, I will explain my view with relevant examples.

Initially

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, it is known to everyone melody can enhance folks' moods

whereas

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mankind is instinctively attracted to the sounds of instruments;

therefore

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, societies prefer spending their leisure time in universal concerts with strangers.

For example

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, a concert by famous singer Adele in New York was held on

10 th

Correct your spelling

10th

June two years ago which proves that listeners from all around the world had booked tickets with a view to having conversations with foreign friends.

As a consequence

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, Opera not only gives the opportunity of starting a lifelong relationship with new bosoms but

also

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puts communities in a good mood Ultimately.

On the other hand

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, a growing number of societies comprehend that rhythm gives a helping hand to embrace diverse cultures as in concert nations especially teenagers start a friendship with foreign races;

therefore

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this

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situation leads to abandoning their own heritage and focus on other cultures

finally

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In other words

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, it has negative effects on culture-related fields. The result of a survey in India explored that being a fan of foreign singers is the main reason for changing religious certificates in

this

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territory.

As a consequence

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, it gives rise to cultural disappearances and

thus

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, religious crowds oppose

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condition

finally

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. In conclusion, it is universally accepted that music either can enhance mood or be useful in making relationships;

nonetheless

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, it has negative impacts on cultures. Personally, in my opinion, its advantages will outweigh any negatives

accordingly

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Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on Sun Jun 25 2023

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13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People move to different location to live in. what are the reasons? is it a positive or negative development?

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages?

There are more and more effective security measures in large cities to reduce the crime. Does this endeavor bring more benefits than problems?