IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Average Household Expenditure in 2019 and 2020 compare and give information where relevant

#household #expenditure #information
The two pie charts compare five categories
household
Change preposition
of household
show examples
expenditure
( food, housing, education other products and services,
healthcare
Correct word choice
and healthcare
show examples
) between 2019 and 2020. Units are measured in percentage. It's
noticible
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expenditure
food
Change preposition
on food
show examples
, housing,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
 experienced
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a significant fall other the 10- years period
while
this
 figure for other products and
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 and Healthcare so a big rise. In 2019
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 average
household
expenditure
 went on food which was the largest of the pie chart,
however
, by 2020 the figure for
this
 category had fallen by one of twenty during
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
half decade the
expenditure
 housing consumer experience
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a considerable fall from 55% to 20% in terms of other products and services the
household
expenditure
this
 category made up 7% in 2019 and after 1 years
this
 figure saw a significant increase at 18% making in the largest
household
 of all. In the smallest
household
 of
expenditure
 to healthcare in the first year.
However
 next year the period, there was
Correct article usage
a
show examples
15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
rise in
this
 sector.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: