IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it?

#animals #verge #extinction #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A generation ago, there were lots of different types of
animals
Use synonyms
 in the world.
However
Linking Words
, savage
creatures
Use synonyms
 are almost destroyed and endangered.
This
Linking Words
 essay will look at the core reasons for
this
Linking Words
 and propose some solid solutions. One of the main causes of the
problem
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 have been destroying their habitat. By
this
Linking Words
 I mean humans are building new houses in their lands. They lose their food and house in that part.
For example
Linking Words
, the contractors do not care the
animals
Use synonyms
 which live in the building area and they cut trees and plants. The solution is for the contractors could be more respectful of
animals
Use synonyms
' habitats. Another
problem
Use synonyms
 is that hunters do not obey rules.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, they do not look carefully at what they kill. Sometimes hunters shoot very rare
creatures
Use synonyms
. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, the government could protect the
animals
Use synonyms
 from hunters. A third cause of the
problem
Use synonyms
 is the population. To be more precise, wild
creatures
Use synonyms
 are afraid of
people
Use synonyms
 and they try to find a new place far from humans but there are bringing several dangers during travel.
As a result
Linking Words
, Most of the severe
animals
Use synonyms
 die in that way. and their populations go down. The way forward could be to limit humans around the wild area.
To sum up
Linking Words
, wild
creatures
Use synonyms
 are getting rare and most of them are endangered,
due to
Linking Words
 the reasons
such
Linking Words
 as living in their habitat, killing
animals
Use synonyms
 and disturbing wild
creatures
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is a serious
problem
Use synonyms
, and unless more respectful, obeying hunting rules and limiting
people
Use synonyms
 live their land. My view is the main responsibility for solving the
problem
Use synonyms
 lies with the
people
Use synonyms
 and government.
Submitted by yadigaragar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: