In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?
It is true that the proportion of older
people
than young Use synonyms
people
in many Use synonyms
countries
will increase in the future. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss the detrimental effects brought about by Linking Words
this
phenomenon.
There are several drawbacks that can be reaped from the percentage of older residents than young ones in many nations. Regarding the first drawback, Linking Words
this
trend can Linking Words
cause
a negative effect on Verb problem
have
labor
in these Change the spelling
labour
countries
. To explain, older Use synonyms
people
do not have enough ability to work and dedicate themselves to occupations as young Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
As a result
, there will be a lack of employees and workers. Simultaneously, the economy in these Linking Words
countries
tends to stagnate and even go down. Use synonyms
Therefore
, there are adverse impacts on employment in these Linking Words
countries
if the percentage of older Use synonyms
people
increases.
Another striking argument is that older Use synonyms
people
can become a burden on the Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
systems
in these Use synonyms
countries
. To be more specific, Use synonyms
this
age group can easily get various problems related to Linking Words
health
, so governments have to invest in constructing or improving many Use synonyms
health
facilities. Use synonyms
For example
, the proportion of older Linking Words
people
in Japan has been the highest for a long time, so the governments have spent their budget on enhancing Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
systems
Use synonyms
such
as hospitals, and retirement homes. Linking Words
Subsequently
, the increasing rate of older Linking Words
people
than young Use synonyms
people
has a negative influence on Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
systems
in these Use synonyms
countries
.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, the employment resources and Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
systems
are perhaps affected negatively by the growth of the proportion of Use synonyms
the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
than young Use synonyms
peoples
. Because of these disadvantages, Fix the agreement mistake
people
this
phenomenon is a negative development.Linking Words
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task achievement
You provided a clear response to the task and addressed the prompt well. However, you might want to broaden your discussion by also considering potential positive aspects, even if you believe the overall impact is negative. This can demonstrate a more balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
While you have a logical structure and a clear progression of ideas, you could improve the coherence by linking ideas more seamlessly between paragraphs. Use transition phrases to create smoother connections.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are consistently supported by more detailed examples or explanations. This will reinforce your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The points you mentioned are relevant, and you have supported them with examples, particularly the case of Japan.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task directly and maintains a focus on the question posed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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