In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?
It is true that the proportion of older
people
than young people
in many countries
will increase in the future. This
essay will discuss the detrimental effects brought about by this
phenomenon.
There are several drawbacks that can be reaped from the percentage of older residents than young ones in many nations. Regarding the first drawback, this
trend can cause
a negative effect on Verb problem
have
labor
in these Change the spelling
labour
countries
. To explain, older people
do not have enough ability to work and dedicate themselves to occupations as young people
. As a result
, there will be a lack of employees and workers. Simultaneously, the economy in these countries
tends to stagnate and even go down. Therefore
, there are adverse impacts on employment in these countries
if the percentage of older people
increases.
Another striking argument is that older people
can become a burden on the health
systems
in these countries
. To be more specific, this
age group can easily get various problems related to health
, so governments have to invest in constructing or improving many health
facilities. For example
, the proportion of older people
in Japan has been the highest for a long time, so the governments have spent their budget on enhancing health
systems
such
as hospitals, and retirement homes. Subsequently
, the increasing rate of older people
than young people
has a negative influence on health
systems
in these countries
.
To sum up
, the employment resources and health
systems
are perhaps affected negatively by the growth of the proportion of the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
than young peoples
. Because of these disadvantages, Fix the agreement mistake
people
this
phenomenon is a negative development.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
You provided a clear response to the task and addressed the prompt well. However, you might want to broaden your discussion by also considering potential positive aspects, even if you believe the overall impact is negative. This can demonstrate a more balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
While you have a logical structure and a clear progression of ideas, you could improve the coherence by linking ideas more seamlessly between paragraphs. Use transition phrases to create smoother connections.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are consistently supported by more detailed examples or explanations. This will reinforce your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The points you mentioned are relevant, and you have supported them with examples, particularly the case of Japan.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task directly and maintains a focus on the question posed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?