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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the total number of applicants the year before and the year after Doolittle University’s social media advertising campaign, organized by age range and how close the applicants live to the university.

The charts below show the total number of applicants the year before and the year after Doolittle University’s social media advertising campaign, organized by age range and how close the applicants live to the university.
#show #applicants #year #doolittle #university’s #media #campaign #age #range #university
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The charts provide
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of
applicants
Use synonyms
 at the Doolittle University year before and the year after
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 media advertising
campaign
Use synonyms
, organized by age range and how close the
applicants
Use synonyms
 live to the university.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear to see there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
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impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 in the assessment between
age
Correct article usage
the age
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 18-22 who lived
further
Linking Words
 than 100km from
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
. The
campaign
Use synonyms
 in social media
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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whithin
Correct your spelling
within
 100km
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 just
litle
Correct your spelling
little
 impact
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
18
Correct article usage
the 18
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 to 29 age,
while
Linking Words
 others ranged from double numbers in 30 to 39 years.
However
Linking Words
, rocked in
ages
Use synonyms
 over 40, being 10
applicants
Use synonyms
 to
aproximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 60.
Conversely
Linking Words
, who live
further
Linking Words
 100km, the
campaign
Use synonyms
 impacted the
ages
Use synonyms
 18 to 22, rocketed to a shocking rate of 185 to 345
applicants
Use synonyms
 and rose almost 100% in
ages
Use synonyms
 from 40
ou
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
 more. About 23 to 29 years, the advertising
not
Add a missing verb
has not
show examples
 changed, but noticed a
litle
Correct your spelling
little
 increase in 5
applicants
Use synonyms
 among 30-39. In sum, the advertising
campaign
Use synonyms
 brought some impacts
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
ages
Use synonyms
 and
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 from
college
Add an article
the college
show examples
.
Submitted by tatianakerches on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words applicants, campaign, ages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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