IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the future, it may be necessary for us to live on another planet. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #planet #reason #people #money #planets #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether the government should invest in searching for another habitable place for human settlement in the universe has long been a controversial issue.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe it is an urgent need for their survival in future, others believe the money should rather be spent on other important areas. I personally support the former view for the following reasons. On one hand, it is increasingly significant for the authority to invest in the discovery of another planet as the earth has become a more hostile place to live.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 face more threats
today
Use synonyms
 than ever before.
For example
Linking Words
, the level of CO2 is rapidly rising and the contamination of the air accelerates especially in cities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 poses extreme damage to the breathing system of humans
as well as
Linking Words
 wild animals.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is an urgent need to search for a different planet where future descendants can settle more peacefully and quietly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in spite of the importance of finding another place to live in the universe, the government should serve with more practical demands of
people
Use synonyms
today
Use synonyms
. In fact, an incredible amount of money has already been spent on space projects.
However
Linking Words
, it does not lead to any productive consequences so far.
Instead
Linking Words
, the authority should invest in other fields
such
Linking Words
 as welfare and education for
people
Use synonyms
 living
today
Use synonyms
 to achieve a higher quality of life. In conclusion, the worsening situation on the earth makes the financial investment in searching for habitable planets more emergent than ever. But the government is
also
Linking Words
 responsible for making wise decisions to meet the current needs of
people
Use synonyms
today
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mizuho on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you provide specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, but ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: