some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. why this the case? do you think this is the positive or negative development.

#children #hour #smartphones #case #development

These days youngsters are spending most of their time on

the

Correct article usage

apply

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mobile phones because most of the information is available online. From my point of view, I think

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

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outweigh the benefits of using smartphones. The main reason for using phones is a source of entertainment, a number of information and games are easily accessible there. New parents when they

Change the verb

are

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not able to handle their kids give them phones and let them play with them so they sit quietly. The major drawback of using the phone every day, it's impacting physical and mental health as well. As children like to play games online rather than go outside

as a result

there is no physical activity and it is affecting their

eye sight

Correct your spelling

eyesight

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Additionally

, growth is

also

affected because of sitting in one place and doing nothing.

Moreover

, youth is becoming so addicted to their devices that they do not take proper meals which is the main reason for poor health. Another drawback is a lack of knowledge in kids because everything is online

then

youngsters do not make efforts to learn on their own which is affecting their mental growth.

For example

, people are using smartphones for their studies as well and they make mistakes in spelling because autocorrect is always there to help them.

This

generation is using AI tools for their assignment and when it comes to doing things own they failed. In conclusion, access to everything is harmful to anyone. That's why for their mental and physical health it is important for parents to set a limitation on using these devices

Submitted by dikshas076 on Mon Jun 26 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. why this the case? do you think this is the positive or negative development.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

“The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In order to solve traffic jams and home problems, people believe that it can be solved by relocating companies, factories and employees to country side. To what extend do you agree?