IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries the number of visitors to art galleries has been steadily declining. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to improve the situation?

It is claimed that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 has been gradually decreasing in many nations.
This
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 essay will discuss the major causes of
this
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 statement and
suggests
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggest
show examples
 some potential solutions to solve
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, perhaps the most important
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 of
declining
Replace the word
the decline in
show examples
 the
interest
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to visit these
galleries
Use synonyms
 is money.
This
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 means that by advancing in AI, many
people
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 lost their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
due to
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 the fact of automation in jobs
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
caused financial problems, particularly for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
low-income individuals in society.
As a result
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, they are unlikely to afford visiting entertainment places
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 perhaps is not a basic need in life. To address
this
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 problem, the government could reduce the ticket price of
galleries
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 would encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to show
interest
Use synonyms
 in visiting them by spending less money.
Therefore
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, if
policy makers
Use the right word
policymakers
show examples
 could regulate the ticket prices in
this
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 industry,
people
Use synonyms
 would go to
galleries
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 even more
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we can preserve the historical
caulture
Correct your spelling
culture
 of the society.
Furthermore
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, another crucial reason might be the advent of technology, particularly
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is convenient to stay at home and explore
YoutYube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
 videos which
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the
tutotials
Correct your spelling
tutorials
 of going to these
galleries
Use synonyms
 by another person.
Therefore
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, individuals’ curiosity is likely to fall because they know what it looks like to be in them without being physically there. In order to solve
this
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 issue, the policy makers should invest
on
Change preposition
in
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 advertisements about the importance of visiting
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 to preserve them
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 would make
people
Use synonyms
 aware of their role in preserving them through supporting and showing
interest
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
art works
Use the right word
artworks
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
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 the
people
Use synonyms
’s
interest
Use synonyms
 in going to
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 has declined steadily, there are some promising solutions to solve
this
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 crucial issue
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as regulating ticket prices and advertisements
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can be done by the government.

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structure
Plan before you write. Make a clear map with two main ideas and a simple ending.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next. Try first, also, then, but, so.
grammar
Check grammar. Make subject and verb match (for example, 'people have' instead of 'people has').
content
Add one or two easy examples that show each point.
structure
Intro, body and conclusion are in place.
content
The essay tries to give causes and fixes.
style
Language is simple and easy to follow but needs more care with forms.
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