IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

At present times, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this structure outweighs the disadvantages?

#times #population #countries #adults #people #structure
Beyond doubt, the role of all age groups of
people
 is necessary for the consolidation of a country.
However
, some argue that having a greater number of inhabitants of younger age these days is more beneficial. Hereby, I will discuss how the merits exceed the demerits. The major benefit of having a young population is that they are full of energy which helps them to accomplish the given tasks rapidly.
Further
, they provide huge manpower which assists in the effective production of various commodities.
For example
, China excels in the manufacturing sector because it put almost all the adults in it.
Besides
this
, youngsters are well-versed with the latest technology.
Thus
, they can utilise it in their day-to-day life which not only makes their life easier but
also
 encourages them to make new discoveries.
For instance
, with the advance of ,ultrasound both the diagnosis of diseases and underwater research have become quite feasible.
On the contrary
, a host of
people
 believe that having elder
people
 gives the country better moral values.
This
 is because they can guide the young ones towards the path of righteousness.
Moreover
, older generations are more experienced and
hence
 can complete any given task with greater precision.
Thus
to conclude
, we can say despite the fact that older
people
 are more experienced and ethical the newer generations have the advantage of versatility
as well as
 unreasonable effectiveness.
Therefore
, it is
overall
 advantageous to have a larger population of adolescents.
Submitted by chehlsychristie947 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: