IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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Many individuals say that high schools should put a compulsory
course
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 about
community
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service
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 in which
students
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 should work for a charity, improve the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
show examples
 or
teach
Change the form of the verb
teaching
show examples
 sports to young children for free. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and I think
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 kind of
course
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 outweigh the advantages. There are several advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 unpaid
community
Use synonyms
service
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, teenagers are pressured to manage their time between their homework and
community
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service
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, so from high
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 they learn time management.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they learn they should take some responsibility for their tasks.
For instance
Linking Words
, when some
students
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 work for a charity, their manager gives some jobs and a description of the job to do it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they have to do that task effectively and efficiently.
Finally
Linking Words
, being in other places
instead
Linking Words
 of schools affects social skills like communication and networking because pupils find out they cannot treat people like their friends.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, unpaid
community
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service
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 has some disadvantages.
Students
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 should just care about their education and try to pass their exams in the best way. Having
such
Linking Words
 a
course
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 might affect their marks because after many hours in
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 they get tired and if they have to work in another place they get exhausted so they cannot do their homework. Schools should put
such
Linking Words
 courses in a voluntary way and encourage pupils to take
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Because some
students
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 are not willing to do
such
Linking Words
community
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service
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, and if they have to do it, they might find a way to ditch that. In conclusion, some people think that
community
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service
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 without any salary should be a compulsory part of high school courses.
This
Linking Words
 kind
of
Add the comma(s)
, of course,
show examples
course
Use synonyms
 has some benefits and drawbacks, and I think the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by shahab_e2020 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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