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Band 6

The money spent by the government on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #government #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
It is believed that
authorities
 should spend funds on public services
such
 as schools, hospitals, transport and so on rather than spending it on
space
programmes
. I would disagree with
this
 view because, in my opinion, the authority is doing it to help its citizens. The paragraph below will discuss more about it. The population of
this
 world is increasing day by day, and the national
authorities
 are finding themselves in a tough spot to provide basic necessities to their people. To find alternative sources for
this
 issue, the government is spending a lot of funds to hold research
programmes
 in outer
space
 and to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resources that can be beneficial for human beings.
For example
, the
authorities
 spent a lot of funds on the
space
 project Chandrayan, which
then
 later
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 successful as the water was discovered on the moon. Other than
this
, the
space
programmes
 are beneficial for the education sector as well. Young minds can learn about different things
such
 as galaxies, solar systems, planets and so on. It is believed that if Neil Armstrong never stepped foot on the moon, people would never know about Earth's natural satellite.
However
, the government is already funding healthcare facilities and schools. It has become easy and cheaper to become a teacher, doctor, engineer and so on. On the other ,hand it takes years to work on
space
programmes
 and execute them. There are many articles in newspapers that prove that some people spend government-allocated money on their personal luxuries rather than spending it on schools and healthcare. In conclusion, though there are several advantages of government spending money on
space
programmes
authorities
 should take care of the basic needs of their citizens.
Submitted by sku75179 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic and that the conclusion summarizes your main points effectively. Additionally, work on the logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt, providing a clear and comprehensive response. Also, make sure to support your ideas with relevant and specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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