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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #three #areas #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart depicts the information associated with tourism in European countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, it has been found that in European countries huge numbers of overseas visited tourist destinations in three major
areas
Use synonyms
 namely the
coast
Use synonyms
, mountains, and
lakes
Use synonyms
 during the period between 1987 to 2007. In 1987, it has been observed that the tourist mostly preferred to visit the
Use synonyms
coast
Replace the word
coastal
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 and more than 40
thousand
Use synonyms
 tourists visited
the coasts
Change to a genitive case
the sides of the coast
show examples
sides
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the mountains
areas
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
' data
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that only 20
thousand
Use synonyms
 foreigners went there and 10
thousand
Use synonyms
 people visited
the
Change to a genitive case
the sides of the lake
the sides of the lakes
show examples
lakes
Use synonyms
sides
Use synonyms
. After 5 years the number of
Use synonyms
lakes
Change the noun form
lake
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 surpassed
mountains
Change the noun form
mountain
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 by 30
thousand
Use synonyms
 and the
coast
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 tourism declined by 10
thousand
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it seems that from 1997 to 2007 most tourists are interested in visiting
the
Change to a genitive case
the sides of the lake
the sides of the lakes
show examples
lakes
Use synonyms
sides
Use synonyms
 and specifically in 2002 more than 70
thousand
Use synonyms
 foreigners went to
the
Change to a genitive case
the sides of the lake
the sides of the lakes
show examples
lakes
Use synonyms
sides
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
coast
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 data
also
Linking Words
 shows that there is a significantly increased in the
coast
Use synonyms
sides
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 and in 2007 nearly 80
thousand
Use synonyms
 people went on
coast
Use synonyms
sides
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by msulemanm9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words areas, coast, lakes, thousand, sides, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Significant
  • Trends
  • Comparative analysis
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Steady
  • Surge
  • Plummet
  • Consistency
  • Highlight
  • Reinforce
  • Data representation
  • Time frame
  • Subject matter
  • Overseas visitors
  • Tourism promotion
  • Transportation
  • Accommodation facilities
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