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Band 6.5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of ths outweigh the disadvantages ?

#countries #people #diet #ths
In some nations, it is becoming more and more popular for individuals to follow a vegetarian
diet
. In my opinion, the merits of
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
 outweigh the demerits because
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle
as well as
 environmentally friendly. On the one hand, there are several downsides for adopt
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
. Plants
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
Add an article
the lack
a lack
show examples
 to
essential
Add an article
the essential
an essential
show examples
 source of nutrition as protein.
This
 is because protein is very important for
build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
 muscles for
people
 and bones strong against injuries. The second disadvantage, some
people
 have allergic
against
Change preposition
to
show examples
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
.
For example
, some find tomato leads to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
blood pressure and
then
 make them more vulnerable to death.
On the other hand
, I would like to argue that the benefits of
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 more than
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
Firstly
,
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 food for individuals.
This
 is
dut
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
 that,
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not
cotains
Correct your spelling
contain
contains
 too much fat and salt compared to
meat
Add an article
a meat
show examples
diet
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can prevent
people
 to develop serious diseases namely, cancer, heart attack, and obesity.
Secondly
,
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
 can have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
 on the environment, because
this
 can educate
people
 to respect animals rights and do not kill them.
Furthermoer
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
 can reduce our
rely
Replace the word
reliance
show examples
 on
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
 meat, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can protect animals from extinction and keep our ecosystem
balance
Wrong verb form
balanced
show examples
. In conclusion, In my perspective, the upsides of
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
 outperform the downsides, because
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vegetarian
diet
 can provide healthy food for
people
 and help them to stay healthy, and
also
 protect creatures from
danager
Correct your spelling
danger
 of disappearing.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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