IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of ths outweigh the disadvantages ?

#countries #people #diet #ths
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In some nations, it is becoming more and more popular for individuals to follow a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the merits of
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 outweigh the demerits because
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle
as well as
Linking Words
 environmentally friendly. On the one hand, there are several downsides for adopt
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
. Plants
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
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the lack
a lack
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 to
essential
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the essential
an essential
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 source of nutrition as protein.
This
Linking Words
 is because protein is very important for
build
Change the verb form
building
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 muscles for
people
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 and bones strong against injuries. The second disadvantage, some
people
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 have allergic
against
Change preposition
to
show examples
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, some find tomato leads to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
blood pressure and
then
Linking Words
 make them more vulnerable to death.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would like to argue that the benefits of
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
significantly
Add a missing verb
are significantly
show examples
 more than
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 food for individuals.
This
Linking Words
 is
dut
Correct your spelling
due
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 to
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
 that,
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not
cotains
Correct your spelling
contain
contains
 too much fat and salt compared to
meat
Add an article
a meat
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
, which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can prevent
people
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 to develop serious diseases namely, cancer, heart attack, and obesity.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 can have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
 on the environment, because
this
Linking Words
 can educate
people
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 to respect animals rights and do not kill them.
Furthermoer
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 can reduce our
rely
Replace the word
reliance
show examples
 on
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
 meat, which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can protect animals from extinction and keep our ecosystem
balance
Wrong verb form
balanced
show examples
. In conclusion, In my perspective, the upsides of
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 outperform the downsides, because
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 can provide healthy food for
people
Use synonyms
 and help them to stay healthy, and
also
Linking Words
 protect creatures from
danager
Correct your spelling
danger
 of disappearing.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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