IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below show the percentage of Austalian people giving money to charities in the years 1980 and 2015.

the graph below show the percentage of Austalian people giving money to charities in the years 1980 and 2015.
The bar chart provides information about the proportion of Australians who contribute money to charities, arranged by different age groups, in the years 1980 and 2015. In the year 1980, the two lowest contributors were folk aged 18 to 25, at 20 % and people aged 26 to 35, at 35 % of their check.
On the other hand
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, in 2015, there are three aged groups contributing the lowest percentage 18 to 25, at 5 %, 26 to 35, at 20% and aged 36 to 45, at 40 % respectively.
In addition
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, the highest proportion of donations remained in the same aged group in both periods, where there was an increase of about 5 % in 2015 in comparison to the 50% and 55% observed in 1980.
In contrast
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, both years showed the same age group which donated the most and the least to charities,
however
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, 2015 had a noticeable decrease. In conclusion, it can be concluded that people donate less money to charities in recent years and that as people get older, they tend to donate more of their money.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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