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Band 6.5

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

#damage #countries #factors #environment #responsibility
In these
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These
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 days, the deterioration of the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 has become a global concern. The fast development in
industrial
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the industrial
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 sector and inappropriate humans' lifestyle play
pivotal
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a pivotal
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 role in the environmental issues.
However
,
either
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neither
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 the
government
or
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nor
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 society
are take
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takes
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 the same amount of
responsibilities
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responsibility
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 to protect our
earth
. The main factor of
environment
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environmental
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 damage is the rapid growth in
industrial
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the industrial
an industrial
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 sector that require deforestation in several areas. The
deforestations
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Deforestation
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 are causing a deficiency in O2 and
increase
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increasing
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 our
earth
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earth's
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 temperature. Jakarta,
for example
, is a humid city and every day the temperature
consistent
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is consistent
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in
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at
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 around 29-31
celcius
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Celcius
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 degree.
That is
 because the city did not have enough trees, and the majority of open lands are allocated to build high buildings.
Consequently
, it leads to severe issues,
such
 as global warming, and pollution. Another cause of deterioration in
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the environmental
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environmental
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environment
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 is
the
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apply
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humans' bad
habbits
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habits
likewise
 increase the number of plastic
wastes
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waste
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, and contribute
in
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to
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 pollution from using vehicles, which are immensely give
bad
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a bad
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 impact
to
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on
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the
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apply
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nature.
It is clear that
 each stakeholders have a pivotal role in
mitigate
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mitigating
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 the
environment
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environmental
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 damage. The
government
's regulations are paramount
due to
diminish
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diminishing
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the
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apply
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inappropriate attitudes toward nature.
For instance
, in Singapore, the
government
 will give
big
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a big
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 amount of fine if they caught someone smoking in open areas.
Although
 the
government
 has
important
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an important
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 role in
this
 problem,
people
also
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are also
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 profoundly responsible for our
earth
.
Apparently
Add a comma
,Apparently
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 the problem is the lack of
people
's awareness
in
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of
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the
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apply
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environmental problems. Unless
people
 across the world establish the same vision to love our
earth
, we would not live
in
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on
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 a comfortable
earth
in
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for
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 a long time.
Hence
, the
government
 could establish
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 in order to increase
people
's awareness. In conclusion, the causes of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 damage are the lack of places to plan threes and the human inappropriate
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
 towards
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Therefore
, the
government
 and society have the same responsibility to protect our nature and mitigate
the
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apply
show examples
further
 deterioration.
Submitted by sidneynatasha16 on

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