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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #riske #lives #lifes #risks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt these days we need more
risks
Use synonyms
 to learn from
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 mistakes by learning
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 mistakes
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 us some lessons in
life
Use synonyms
 . The question is, How
take
Add the particle
to take
show examples
risks
Use synonyms
 can
affected
Change the verb form
affect
be affected
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us in
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 or negative in our professional and personal
life
Use synonyms
? In
this
Linking Words
 essay , I am going to discuss
it
Correct word choice
whether it
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 is essential to take
risks
Use synonyms
 for
both
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 in professional and personal and draw my own conclusion . In terms of
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 side taking
risks
Use synonyms
making
Wrong verb form
makes
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 you get success in
professional
Correct pronoun usage
your professional
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 If you learn
throgh
Correct your spelling
through
 your
risks
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 making you
more wise
Replace the words
wiser
show examples
 in your job or any
posiotion
Correct your spelling
position
 you might get
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in your role
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
your personal
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 you will learn from your experiences if you get
risks
Use synonyms
 when you are
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young you will learn much
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 that . The main reason
givin
Correct your spelling
given
 to support
this
Linking Words
calim
Correct your spelling
claim
 is that in
both
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 we will get more
risks
Use synonyms
 and we will learn from
this
Linking Words
 experience if the
risks
Use synonyms
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 you get more knowledge about
both
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 you will be
more wise
Replace the words
wiser
show examples
 with your family or relationship. To illustrate if I
saty
Correct your spelling
stay
 at home and I did not get
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 from my experience or
nothing
Correct word choice
if nothing
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 happened
im
Correct your spelling
in
 my
life
Use synonyms
 how I will learn
in other words
Linking Words
riske
Correct your spelling
risks
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from our experiences
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 is short should learn from our lessons . In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 we will get some disadvantages from
risks
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but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
we have to be patient
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
risks
Use synonyms
 nothing is easy to be successful in your professional
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
 if you get more
risks
Use synonyms
 you will gain some
paitent
Correct your spelling
patience
 in
both
Use synonyms
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 lives .
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that our
Correct your spelling
lives
life is
lifes
Add a verb
arelifes
werelifes
show examples
 not easy it is difficult so let’s learn from our mistakes and
risks
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by luhana.chii on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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