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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays,
people
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 have a lot of preferences regarding their leisure
activities
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 for killing
time
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.
However
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, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that utilizing leisure
time
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 for reading and doing word puzzles is far better compared to resting their
minds
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.
Nevertheless
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, I would say that resting one's mind is better compared to letting it active for some reasons which are set out below. On one side, there are numerous
activities
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 which can help us improve our
minds
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.
For example
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, reading books can help us to learn new skills and knowledge which will help us if we face some problems in the future.
Besides
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, when we try to solve a word puzzle, our brains become more active compared to relaxing
activities
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 because it helps us to continually reactivate our
brain
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 function to avoid being senile. From
this
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 situation, we can
also
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 learn or develop our problem-solving skills which can help us to grow eventually.
On the other hand
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, During weekdays, our
brain
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 always works to accomplish everyday tasks. As brains work like human muscles they need to rest once too;
therefore
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, relaxing
activities
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 must be done so it can reduce tension in the nervous system. If it is not reduced,
then
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 health problems will happen regarding
this
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 situation.
For example
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,
people
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 may suffer from
brain
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 damage when they are too tired working on something for a long
time
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 without resting. Other than that, resting our brains means that we have more opportunities to refresh our
minds
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 and think of other policies or ideas that might be useful for our work. In conclusion, keeping our
brain
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 active during leisure
time
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 is a bad idea as it might not allow
people
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 to reduce the tension from working days which can affect their health.
Nevertheless
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, resting is far superior as it gives
people
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 less stress and allows their
minds
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 to relax to get new ideas for their lives.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples make your points more concrete and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs more fully by adding a variety of sentence structures and ensuring clear transitions between ideas. This can help in making the essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and offers a well-rounded analysis before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize and encapsulate the essay's main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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