The diagram below shows the manufacturing proces for making sugar from sugar cane. Summurise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing proces for making sugar from sugar cane. 

Summurise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram represents the production method for processing
sugar
Use synonyms
cane to get
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
all productions are seven different processes. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
there are two ways for collecting the canes.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
cane grows between 12 and 18 months. Which is the longest time for the line.
Then
Linking Words
there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
two options for harvesting.
This
Linking Words
could be done via machines or by hand. The machine is faster than by hand. After collecting that next step is crushing. Suger canes crush to juice via
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
machine. Another process is purifying juice using a limestone filter. Following
that is
Linking Words
the evaporator.
Linking Words
This
Change preposition
At this
show examples
point juice turns to syrup.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
two works are centrifuge which eliminates
sugar
Use synonyms
crystals from syrup and
to dry
Change the verb form
dries
show examples
and
cool
Wrong verb form
cools
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yadigaragar on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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