Young people spend less of their free time with their family nowadays.What are the reasons for this?Are there more negative or positive sides to this trend?

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In the current
era
Add a comma
,era

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In the current era. Consider adding a comma.

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youths spend less of their leisure hour with their family. The reasons for
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement and the negative and positive
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects

It seems that effect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are discussed below.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, a child may have less time with their family could be
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

both the
parent’s
Change the noun form
parents
parent

It appears that the noun parent’s should not be in the possessive form. Consider changing it to the non-possessive singular or plural form.

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working and at times people
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

work
Wrong verb form
working

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb work. Consider changing it.

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for long hours and during the weekends,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation can be seen as something
that is
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inevitable, work is
essential
Add an article
an essential

The noun phrase essential fraction seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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fraction of our lives we need funds to survive in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

world.
Secondly
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,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones

The word smart phones seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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is a major contributing factor to
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation. One could use
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

gadget for many purposes
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

playing games, watching videos on
You Tube
Correct your spelling
YouTube

The word You Tube seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, or
Tik-Tok
Correct your spelling
TikTok

The word Tik-Tok doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, and using social media
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Phones could be a very good resource if used in a proper manner
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
,for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for example. Consider adding the comma(s).

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example,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can get heaps of information about a particular subject,
it
Correct word choice
and it

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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can aid in their homework.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, spending more time on
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones

The word smart phones seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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means less bonding with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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family members.
Thirdly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, youngsters enjoy spending their free
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours

It seems that hour may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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with friends rather than family,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could be
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the same interest that they share. Young
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will go to the cinema with their friends. More entertainment facilities are available these days which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include

It seems that the verb includes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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gaming
centers
Change the spelling
centres

The spelling of centers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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, theme parks, etc. whereby
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

might like to accompany a friend or go alone. It could have a bad influence on
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they are unsupervised
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might engage in activities like drinking alcohol or taking drugs. In conclusion, young
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spend little free time with their family and there are
number
Correct article usage
a number

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of justifications which can be either beneficial or harmful to the younger generation

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • individualistic values
  • proliferation
  • engage
  • extracurricular activities
  • weakened family bonds
  • traditional values
  • self-reliant
  • social network
  • personal and professional growth
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