[2] In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?
It is generally accepted in education
fields
that subject preferences are divided by Use synonyms
gender
, with arts being dominant for female students and science for male students. Use synonyms
This
essay will try to identify the factors contributing to Linking Words
this
and argue that Linking Words
this
trend should be changed.
There are many reasons why genders influence the choice of courses. One important factor is the Linking Words
gender
stereotypes in a social environment, which leads individuals to decide their futures based on these norms. Use synonyms
For instance
, men are considered suitable for Linking Words
fields
requiring logic and technical skills, Use synonyms
such
as engineering and mathematics, Linking Words
while
women are seen as more suited for Linking Words
fields
involving creativity and art, Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
artist
or education. Replace the word
art
Furthermore
, families play a significant role in shaping their children's interests and subject preferences. Linking Words
For example
, from an early age, boys are given toys related to construction or science, Linking Words
while
girls are given dolls or fashion-related toys. Linking Words
Consequently
, the ability of young people becomes confined to a particular skill, reinforcing common perception in society.
Linking Words
However
, there are some strong arguments to alter Linking Words
this
trend to achieve Linking Words
gender
equality and maximize individuals' potential. Use synonyms
Firstly
, many science and technology Linking Words
fields
are experiencing a lack of experts. By encouraging more women to get involved, we can help to fulfil workforce requirements and prompt economic growth. Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
this
tendency should be changed to expand the equality of opportunity. All individuals, regardless of Linking Words
gender
, should have the same opportunity to pursue their talents and interests. Eliminating Use synonyms
gender
stereotypes allows ladies and gentlemen to choose educational and career paths that truly interest them without social pressure.
In conclusion, the reasons behind the pattern of choosing subject Use synonyms
fields
based on sexual category include the influence of traditional generalisations and families. I believe it should be removed to address limited human resources and promote Use synonyms
gender
equality.Use synonyms
Submitted by writewritingsc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of introducing the topic and stating your argument. However, you could make your thesis statement even clearer by mentioning both the reasons and the need for change in the introduction.
task achievement
Try to strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing the main reasons you discussed. This will reinforce your argument and provide a more cohesive ending to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay mostly flows well, be careful of repetitive phrases. For instance, using 'fields' frequently can be varied with synonyms like 'disciplines' or 'areas'.
coherence cohesion
Work on sharpening the connections between your points. For example, you can use more transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'In contrast,' to clearly highlight different sections of your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive overview of the topic, exploring both the reasons behind the trend and the argument for change.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic. This structure helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, particularly when discussing how families influence children's choices. These concrete examples strengthen your essay considerably.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?