[2] In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?
It is generally accepted in education
fields
that subject preferences are divided by gender
, with arts being dominant for female students and science for male students. This
essay will try to identify the factors contributing to this
and argue that this
trend should be changed.
There are many reasons why genders influence the choice of courses. One important factor is the gender
stereotypes in a social environment, which leads individuals to decide their futures based on these norms. For instance
, men are considered suitable for fields
requiring logic and technical skills, such
as engineering and mathematics, while
women are seen as more suited for fields
involving creativity and art, such
as artist
or education. Replace the word
art
Furthermore
, families play a significant role in shaping their children's interests and subject preferences. For example
, from an early age, boys are given toys related to construction or science, while
girls are given dolls or fashion-related toys. Consequently
, the ability of young people becomes confined to a particular skill, reinforcing common perception in society.
However
, there are some strong arguments to alter this
trend to achieve gender
equality and maximize individuals' potential. Firstly
, many science and technology fields
are experiencing a lack of experts. By encouraging more women to get involved, we can help to fulfil workforce requirements and prompt economic growth. Secondly
, this
tendency should be changed to expand the equality of opportunity. All individuals, regardless of gender
, should have the same opportunity to pursue their talents and interests. Eliminating gender
stereotypes allows ladies and gentlemen to choose educational and career paths that truly interest them without social pressure.
In conclusion, the reasons behind the pattern of choosing subject fields
based on sexual category include the influence of traditional generalisations and families. I believe it should be removed to address limited human resources and promote gender
equality.Submitted by writewritingsc on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of introducing the topic and stating your argument. However, you could make your thesis statement even clearer by mentioning both the reasons and the need for change in the introduction.
task achievement
Try to strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing the main reasons you discussed. This will reinforce your argument and provide a more cohesive ending to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your essay mostly flows well, be careful of repetitive phrases. For instance, using 'fields' frequently can be varied with synonyms like 'disciplines' or 'areas'.
coherence cohesion
Work on sharpening the connections between your points. For example, you can use more transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'In contrast,' to clearly highlight different sections of your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive overview of the topic, exploring both the reasons behind the trend and the argument for change.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic. This structure helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, particularly when discussing how families influence children's choices. These concrete examples strengthen your essay considerably.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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