[2] In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

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It is generally accepted in education

fields

Use synonyms

that subject preferences are divided by

gender

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, with arts being dominant for female students and science for male students.

This

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essay will try to identify the factors contributing to

this

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and argue that

this

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trend should be changed. There are many reasons why genders influence the choice of courses. One important factor is the

gender

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stereotypes in a social environment, which leads individuals to decide their futures based on these norms.

For instance

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, men are considered suitable for

fields

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requiring logic and technical skills,

such

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as engineering and mathematics,

while

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women are seen as more suited for

fields

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involving creativity and art,

such

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artist

Replace the word

art

show examples

or education.

Furthermore

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, families play a significant role in shaping their children's interests and subject preferences.

For example

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, from an early age, boys are given toys related to construction or science,

while

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girls are given dolls or fashion-related toys.

Consequently

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, the ability of young people becomes confined to a particular skill, reinforcing common perception in society.

However

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, there are some strong arguments to alter

this

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trend to achieve

gender

Use synonyms

equality and maximize individuals' potential.

Firstly

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, many science and technology

fields

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are experiencing a lack of experts. By encouraging more women to get involved, we can help to fulfil workforce requirements and prompt economic growth.

Secondly

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this

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tendency should be changed to expand the equality of opportunity. All individuals, regardless of

gender

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, should have the same opportunity to pursue their talents and interests. Eliminating

gender

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stereotypes allows ladies and gentlemen to choose educational and career paths that truly interest them without social pressure. In conclusion, the reasons behind the pattern of choosing subject

fields

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based on sexual category include the influence of traditional generalisations and families. I believe it should be removed to address limited human resources and promote

gender

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equality.

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task achievement

Your essay does a good job of introducing the topic and stating your argument. However, you could make your thesis statement even clearer by mentioning both the reasons and the need for change in the introduction.

task achievement

Try to strengthen your conclusion by briefly summarizing the main reasons you discussed. This will reinforce your argument and provide a more cohesive ending to your essay.

coherence cohesion

While your essay mostly flows well, be careful of repetitive phrases. For instance, using 'fields' frequently can be varied with synonyms like 'disciplines' or 'areas'.

coherence cohesion

Work on sharpening the connections between your points. For example, you can use more transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'In contrast,' to clearly highlight different sections of your argument.

task achievement

You have provided a comprehensive overview of the topic, exploring both the reasons behind the trend and the argument for change.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic. This structure helps the reader follow your argument easily.

task achievement

You used relevant examples to support your arguments, particularly when discussing how families influence children's choices. These concrete examples strengthen your essay considerably.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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[2] In schools and universities, girl tend to choose arts subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

Your opinion

Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

.Recycling is now an essential measure: it is time for everyone in society to became more responsible towards the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?