Some believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think that it depends on factors such as money or personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#believe #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

There is a continuous argument that the main factors of achieving

success

are caused by innate elements like

money

and personal appearances or consist of persistent efforts. Personally, I believe that continuous hard work results in

success

. First and foremost, rich people don’t necessarily succeed in real society.

Although

money

is one of the most important elements of

success

, making efforts allow people to achieve their promising future

success

For instance

, the CEO of Meta has become famous since he was a university student. Despite being an ordinary student, he established the company and gained enormous

money

with a tremendous and sometimes insane effort, whose

success

story became a popular movie.

Furthermore

, talents from parents can’t

also

promise

one’s

success

For example

, Shunsuke Nakamura, who is a famous Japanese football player, has succeeded as a global professional soccer player, but five of his

children

couldn’t become famous with their parent’s great talent.

This

proves that

money

and innate talents won’t promise

success

On the other hand

, innate factors can lead to

one’s

success

directly. An example is that most CEOs'

children

are promised to become the next leader of the company. Compared to the other workers, having a good pedigree helps the

children

to grab

success

earlier.

However

, the definition of

success

is not just one time but to keep achieving

one’s

dream or gain a social position.

Although

the

children

can succeed immediately, even maintaining the current company’s situation requires second-generation CEOs to make efforts.

Therefore

, continuous hard work can achieve

one’s

continuous

success

. In brief, even if superficial factors like personal appearance led to

one’s

success

,it won’t

last

forever without any effort. Hard work behind the scenes allows people to achieve their

success

Submitted by ka.ki.ku.ke.kohei0827 on Wed Jun 28 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In our century, new technologies like mobiles and internet have a magnificent role for human being to communicate with each other. Although they produce so many benefits, also they are responsible for a lot of problems that in my opinion outweigh them.
6.5
band
What are the advantages and disadvantages of technology in our daily lives.
Nowadays , the positive and negative effects of technology on human life are obvious,because ,everybody knows how is important for communication ,the pace of life and inventing new tools ,however, it might be going to move in deviate road from wellness and progress ,such any invention could move into a wrong destination ,of course, if users are not educated to use it correctly ,so,I will explain in detail both aspects in following paragraphs .
5.5
band
The rapid advancement of technology has significantly transformed various aspects of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this technological progress, and how can individuals and societies adapt to these changes?
There is no denying the fact that the rapid technological revolution has massively impacted our lives. This essay will discuss the advantages, as well as the disadvantages of this advancement, and suggest some techniques for people and societies to adapt to these changes.
7.5
band
Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Nowadays there are countless TV channels that can be accessed at a glance. Some of them have graphical figures that might have damaging effects on people, especially children. In addition, some video games, also have these bad consequences. Some argue that they should be restricted. However, others disagree with that idea. In this essay, I will outline both views.
6
band
Topic: Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
in the concurrent era, education is important for both genders. the debate on that the majority of people believe that co-education is more helpful for children while others contradict that separate school for girls and boys is more productive. The following paragraph highlights both perspectives which will lead to my opinion in conclusion.

Some believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think that it depends on factors such as money or personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of technology in our daily lives.

The rapid advancement of technology has significantly transformed various aspects of our lives. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this technological progress, and how can individuals and societies adapt to these changes?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Topic: Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.