IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You visit a sports centre regularly, and there is a problem with the changing rooms in it. You have complained about it several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter, •describe what the problem with the changing rooms is •say what happened the last time you complained •explain what you want the manager to do

#visit #sports #centre #rooms #times #success #manager #•describe #•say #time #•explain
Dear Sir, Greetings, I hope
this
 letter finds you well, I am writing to you concerning a problem with the dressing rooms in the centre. Actually, I have complained about
this
 problem several times before, but nothing has changed. The cleaning issue has become annoying,
although
 the cleaners are there the whole time, they do not give much care about floor cleaning or cupboards,
additionally
, the lights do not work properly and most of them are damaged.
Therefore
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night
hours
Add a comma
hours,
show examples
 we can not use the dressing rooms.
Nevertheless
, I sent over three letters to the supervisor complaining about cleaning issues, He did not do anything in
this
 regard,
hence
 I decided to speak to you directly.
Finally
, I would like to suggest some solutions, first of all, fixing all
damaged
Correct article usage
the damaged
show examples
 lights,
moreover
, changing
helpers
Correct article usage
the helpers
show examples
 staff with other qualified workers who commit to doing their job properly. I am looking forward to your kind reply. Best Regards. Omar San.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

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coherence cohesion
Consider starting your paragraphs with topic sentences to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Expand on possible consequences of the issue and mention your expectations more clearly. Example: elaborate how these issues are affecting the centre's attendees.
task achievement
Polite and professional tone is maintained throughout the letter.
coherence cohesion
Good logical structure with a clear progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Greetings and closing are properly done, enhancing the overall professionalism of the letter.
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