IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph provides information on developments in national access to modern technologies in the UK from 1996 to 2003.

The graph provides information on developments in national access to modern technologies in the UK from 1996 to 2003.
The graph provides information on developments in national access to modern technologies in the
UK
Use synonyms
 from 1996 to 2003. In the
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 you can see that all the trends have increased, but each has its own growth trend. In 1996-97, mobile phones had the lowest percentage, about 19%.
This
Linking Words
compared
Add a missing verb
is compared
show examples
 with about 28% in the
home
Use synonyms
 PC and approximately 60% in the CD player. In 1998-99, the rarest of modern technologies was Internet access, which was about 10%. the penetration of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
also
Linking Words
 increased by about 9%, from 19% to 28%.
Home
Use synonyms
 computer availability
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gradually increased to about 38%, making it the second most accessible in 1998-1999. The most used and at the same time accessible technology was
CD
Correct article usage
the CD
show examples
 player reached a mark under 70% of the
themed
Replace the word
theme
show examples
 increased by about 10% since 1996. Until 2002-3 years, mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 available in the
UK
Use synonyms
 has grown significantly and took second place ahead of
home
Use synonyms
 computers by about 10% and reaching about 70%. From 1996-97 until 2002-3, the CD player did not surrender the leading position and achieved more than 80%. Since 1998-99, Internet access has increased more than four times: from about 10% to about 45% but ranked
last
Linking Words
 among modern technology in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Home
Use synonyms
 computer availability in homes in the
UK
Use synonyms
 has been consistently rising but failed to reach 60% by 2002-3.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, home with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 10 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: