IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

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Many individuals have a belief that seniors should be stayed at old age homes,
while
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 others,
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
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the notion that living with family members in those later years is apt for them. I believe
,
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apply
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 that love and affection are most vital factors for senior citizens than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professional care. In
this
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 essay, I would argue
for
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apply
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the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 seniors should spend
this
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 crucial tenure at home only. On the one hand, challenging physical circumstances requires
the
Correct article usage
apply
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dedicated 24/7 professional support. At
this
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 age, the physical condition of the body gets deteriorating, wherever it needs someone to be taken care
, always
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of, always
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 with professional assistance to cater
the
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for the
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 emergencies, if they occur.
For instance
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, a report published by the NHS, states that, if on-time first aid treatment
such
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 as
,
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 Oxygen Nebultization would have been provided in these emergency conditions, 30% of the lives might be saved in
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Last
Correct article usage
the Last
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 5 years. On the flip side, to overcome
such
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 challenging physical circumstances, more prone to occur at
this
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 stage, the psychological support part plays a vital role too or
even
Add a missing verb
is even
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 more effective than professional care.
Moreover
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, homely environment, in the company of kids and adult
of
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apply
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family members, they tend to forget their misery during those moments. The cherishing moments spent with them
,
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apply
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 eventually
plays
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play
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 a bigger role in health improvement, which might sometimes could not be cured with medicines or professional assistance at old age homes.
To sum up
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, I conclude that professional help is of great significance for elderly people, but it is the psychological support from their near and dear ones, which is very helpful for the betterment of their help, who might already have gone through the long medication process, but could not achieve the best of results for them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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