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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #reason #growth #society
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In the current era, it is becoming increasingly common for
people
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 to be exposed to the risk of critical illness because of obesity. The awful modern lifestyle is the root of the problem, and both the government and society must work together to solve it.
This
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 essay will discuss why overweight
people
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 grow in the community and provide a feasible solution. Let’s start by looking at one of the reasons why obesity will directly impact the growth of severe illness at an astonishing rate. The advancement of
technology
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that is
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 provided easily to society is the main factor. It will impact modern humans to reduce their healthy activities and tend to spend their time a lot on advanced
technology
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 creatures. Take the growth of online game addiction among many children as an example. Young pupils in the past had played conventional games that contributed to keeping their bodies fit;
however
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, currently, the new young generation is more convenient with an online game that can be provided for physical and psychological illnesses
such
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 as addiction and eye disturbance in children.
Thus
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, the issue will treat somebody's health condition, so to overcome these issues, proper rules from the government are required. Turning to another reason for the growth of fatal diseases is a terrible diet habit Nowadays, society tends to eat instant food rather than healthy meals because of influencers on social media. It will be a serious issue if
people
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 perceive that as a common lifestyle.
For instance
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, the improper new phenomenon of eating junk food and sugary drinks in families is evidence of the habit of the rich family. Instant meals will increase the opportunity for our bodies to be exposed to dangerous health problems
such
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 as diabetes, obesity, gout, and others.
Hence
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, it can be defined that the problems are crucial, and because of that, the role of parents to cut down on these problems is needed,
such
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 as controlling the diet menu for their family, particularly their children.
Consequently
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, it is undeniable that the advancement of
technology
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 is the main reason why major illnesses have increased significantly.
In addition
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, it is supported by the unwise public to use advanced
technology
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.
Besides
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 that, solving
this
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 problem properly requires collaboration efforts both from the government and the
people
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.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • genetics
  • nutritional awareness
  • processed foods
  • fast food
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative measures
  • tax incentives
  • urban planning
  • community gardens
  • wellness initiatives
  • dietary guidelines
  • physical fitness
  • calorie-dense
  • portion control
  • metabolic rate
  • health literacy
  • food deserts
  • work-life balance
  • junk food
  • BMI (Body Mass Index)
  • non-communicable diseases
  • food labeling
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