IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on children’s sports and participation in different sports in the UK from 2008 to 2014.

The graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on children’s sports and participation in different sports in the UK from 2008 to 2014.
The line graph
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 information about the median spending on
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 and involvement in three
sports
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 in the United Kingdom over 6 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear the most popular sport was
football
Use synonyms
 among
children
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, and
also
Linking Words
 all kinds of
sports
Use synonyms
 showed
Correct article usage
an increased
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increased
Replace the word
increase
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 over the given period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
sports
Use synonyms
 reach their lowest, apex at
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 year. Looking at the chart in more detail,
football
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 had
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 number of
children
Use synonyms
 during the whole period, in 2008 was around 8.1
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children
Use synonyms
,and in the two next years
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
football
Use synonyms
the
Add a missing verb
was the
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 lowest at 7.9
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children
Use synonyms
, and after that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
football
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 showed gradually raised in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
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2014 was the highest
sports
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 about 9
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
athletics from 2008 to 2010 unchanged approximately 1. 9
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children
Use synonyms
,and in 2012
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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 a peak at almost 5.9
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children
Use synonyms
, and from 2009 to 2014 was the second
common
Correct quantifier usage
most common
show examples
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 3 to 5.1
Change to singular
million
show examples
millions
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
. Regarding swimming in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2009 swimming and athletics had the same number of
children
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 at almost 2.5
Change to singular
million
show examples
millions
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
, and from 2011 to 2014
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
swimming has become
Correct article usage
the
show examples
least popular
Use synonyms
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 from around 2.5 to 3.9
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, sports, football, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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