IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you disagree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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Nowadays there are
health
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 problems that many manufactured
food
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 and drink
products
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 consist of high levels of
sugar
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. I agree that to reduce
sugar
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 consumption,
sugar
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 should be sold
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sugar
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at sugar
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 higher
price
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.
To begin
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 with ,it is true that the consumption of
sugar
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 can cause a range of
health
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 problems.
People
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 should perceive that taking manufactured
food
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 and drink contain high levels of
sugar
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. It leads adversely
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
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people
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.
However
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 sugary
products
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 are inexpensive to buy.
For example
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, when we purchase at a fast
food
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 restaurant, they promote a cheaper
price
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 It promotes cheaper
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 to buy drinks. It leads
people
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 to buy manufactured drinks more easily. If the government decide to impose a higher tax on sugary foods it
increase
Change the verb form
increases
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 the
price
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 of the product.
As a result
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, these manufactured goods will be less popular among
people
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.
In addition
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, increasing the cost of unhealthy foods
,
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apply
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will affect to company’s profits. As the
price
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 tag increases, it leads the problems for the company in less profit.
According to
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this
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, the company should make
products
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 with less amount of
sugar
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.
For instance
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, the company has recently invented manufactured less amount of
sugar
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however
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 the taste is similar to high levels of
sugar
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.
As a result
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, unhealthy
food
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 is replaced by healthy
food
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. In conclusion, higher
sugar
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products
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are affect
Change the verb form
are affected
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 increasingly
health
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 issues. One of the main solutions
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 tag a higher tax on these unhealthy foods. And
also
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 it encourages companies to produce healthy
food
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 replaced by unhealthy manufactured items.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 can choose alternative
products
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 and companies to reduce higher
sugar
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. It leads
people
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 to reduce their
sugar
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 intake and it improves
people
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’s
health
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.
Submitted by toybox29 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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