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people are spending more on travel today than in the past. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #travel #outweigh
In
this
 era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global citizens have more budget for travelling than before.
While
 there is clearly a drawback to
this
, I personally believe that the benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of spending more on travel is that
the
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people'
Change noun form
people's
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 needs
for
Change preposition
on
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their
Change the word
a
show examples
 daily basis will be reduced,
in
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apply
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which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is a major monthly expense. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
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this
 is that the cost of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 and children's education
in
Change preposition
at
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this
 time are higher than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past period.
Therefore
,
individuals
 should
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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allocate their salary to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the main expenditures
firstly
Change the word
first
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 and
then
 they plan to go on vacation.
On the other hand
, one of the major advantages is that the visitor's outcomes will provide an impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the tourist attractions.
For example
, the sellers in Bali get profits as numerous tourists visit that beautiful place and buy many souvenirs from them.
As a result
, the number of
tourism
Replace the word
tourists
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 in Bali increases each year.
In addition
 to that,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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travelling has
a
Remove the article
apply
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merit for
individuals
 to obtain relaxation. As we know,
due to
 hard work in their office, people nowadays become more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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.
Consequently
, they should go on travel with their relatives to take a rest and they can focus
with
Change preposition
on
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 their job after that. In conclusion, the upsides are of greater significance than the downside. Despite the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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travelling will reduce the budget for people's daily activities. Given
this
 situation, it is recommended that
individuals
 should more allocate
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money to go on travel because it can help to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the economy of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourist places and help
individuals
 to relax their souls.
Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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