In some countries, traditional leisure activities like dance, music, and sports are becoming less popular among young people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #leisure #activities #dance #music #sports #people #development

It is pretty evident that

due to

the development of online services and the internet ,itself young

people

spend more and more

time

playing video games, watching series and surfing the World Wide Web. Taking up a new hobby for the young generation is normal nowadays and I think they have a beneficial impact on them. To start with,

activities

such

as binge-watching series or playing video games help unwind and relax.

Moreover

, they serve as an option to escape from worries in real life and

people

can use

this

time

to calm down.

For example

, after a hard day at school or at work

people

can enjoy their favourite game and it would psych up them and give them some energy for

further

work.

In addition

, with all the different plots and scenarios games endeavour

people

to think in creative ways. Thereby, developing

people

’s imagination.

Secondly

, non-traditional

activities

can foster interest in education, especially, in the subject of history.

For instance

, a lot of streaming services do mini-series or films about historical events. Advanced graphics and great quality appeal

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

attention of users and they decide to set aside some

time

to watch those episodes. Shredding light on

this

historical subject not only teaches

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

evolves their critical thinking.

To conclude

, despite all changes in selected leisure

activities

and hobbies

people

still get positive effects from them. Digitalised hobbies are pleasant to do and at the same ,

time

they enhance a lot of skills that individuals can use in future.

Furthermore

, those

activities

help

people

’s mental health and maintain their well being

Submitted by sevrukov.stepan on Thu Jun 29 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, traditional leisure activities like dance, music, and sports are becoming less popular among young people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advatantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more people to encourage people to consume less sugar To extent more, write the problems and solution of given statement.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast transport for cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.