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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the number of native speakers of different languages in Canada in 1996, 2006, and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the number of native speakers of different languages in Canada in 1996, 2006, and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The below-given graphs indicate the percentages of local
speakers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of a number of languages in Canada in three different years.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 glancing at the charts, it is evident that the majority of the people were
English
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
speakers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in all the three different
time-periods
Correct your spelling
time periods

The word time-periods doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. In the year 1996, 60% of the folks used to speak
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

English
Change the article
the English

It appears that the article usage in the phrase English language is incorrect. Consider changing your article usage in this phrase.

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 language
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 23% were French
speakers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and 17% spoke other languages. In 2006,
English
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 users decreased by 2%
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there was an elevation of 3% in the people who used other unofficial languages.
Neveretheless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless

If you don’t want Neveretheless to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, there was a reduction in the amount of
french
Correct your spelling
French

The word french doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 native
speakers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 by only 1%. In the year 2016, citizens who spoke
English
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 covered 57% of Canada and were followed by non-official language users. Folks who were French
speakers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 were about 21%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words speakers, english with synonyms.
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