The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.

#diagrams #show #chocolate #price #bar #process

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The diagram illustrates the stages involved in the process of

chocolate

Use synonyms

bar

Use synonyms

fabrication

while

Linking Words

the pie chart depicts how the price of a

chocolate

Use synonyms

bar

Use synonyms

is split.

Overall

Linking Words

, the whole process has more stages from

cocoa

Use synonyms

beans, and it is ending with the final product

chocolate

Use synonyms

bar

Use synonyms

or food industry, respectively. Regarding the pie chart, it can be noticed that the highest percentage of the price is distributed to the cost of ingredients

while

Linking Words

the smallest one goes to the farmer.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

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the first step from the diagram illustrates how raw

cocoa

Use synonyms

grinded

Correct your spelling

ground

show examples

, having

as a result

Linking Words

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor and waste.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is produced industrial

chocoloate

Correct your spelling

chocolates

which is blended with

cocoa

Use synonyms

butter and sugar, and in the end results

chocolate

Use synonyms

bar

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor pressed has a result

cocoa

Use synonyms

butter or powder which have other utilities. Regarding the pie chart, the costs of ingredients and supermarkets receive roughly a third of the price of the total. Ranked

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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third place are taxes with 15%

while

Linking Words

the revenue for the

chocolate

Use synonyms

company is just 10%. At least, the farmer

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

receives no more than 4%.

Submitted by iftenevlad on Thu Jun 29 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chocolate, bar, cocoa with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultivation
harvesting
extraction
fermentation
drying
roasting
grinding
chocolate liquor
price distribution
stakeholders
retail price
environmental impact
social impact
deforestation
unfair labor practices
fair trade
organic farming
innovations
disease-resistant
sustainable production

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The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Many people believe that a rigorous diet and intensive workout in a short spam can help achieve fitness goals, whereas others think that healthy eating and moderate exercise can provide better long-term outcomes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question- Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?