IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makes comparisons where relevent.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makes comparisons where relevent.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons #relevent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 horizontal bar chart shows a comparison of weekly household expenses in an unknown country in 1968 and 2018. The average cost of families was
distinquished
Correct your spelling
distinguished
 into 8 different categories and
present
Replace the word
presented
show examples
 in values of percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be easily observed that the expense of
food
Use synonyms
 was
Correct article usage
the highgest
show examples
highgest
Correct your spelling
highest
 in 1968 and the cost
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 leisure takes the lead in 2018 and the average spending on fuel and power is lowest both in two years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
notable
 that in 1968 the expenses
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing, wearing and recreation were almost the same which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 close to 10%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 in 2018, the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housing and leisure have raised around 10%.
Furthurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the costs of household goods
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both two years kept the same about 8%.
This
Linking Words
 chart
also
Linking Words
 indicates that except
Use synonyms
food
Change preposition
for food
show examples
,housing,transport and leisure, the rest items are never above 10%. In conclusion, the
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
 expense of
food
Use synonyms
 and housing plays a significant portion of total weekly spending and
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 shows the inclined trend of
food
Use synonyms
 expenses.
Submitted by leo3452811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: