IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some think that the government should tax unhealthy food to uncourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#think #government #tax #food #uncourage #people
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Eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 left too much impact on human life. The impact of
this
Linking Words
 has made many think about solutions to
this
Linking Words
. As a matter of that, people think that a high rate of tax on junk
food
Use synonyms
 can be a solution to the issue. I believe forcing a high rate of
taxes
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 cannot change
any ones
Correct your spelling
anyone's
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 eating habits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, high
rates
Use synonyms
 of
taxes
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 will increase the price of fast
food
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, which divert to having healthy
food
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, in solving many health issues. In countries like Australia, the authority charges high
rates
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 of
taxes
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 on
sugar base
Correct your spelling
sugar-based
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 drinks in comparison to other drinks.
In addition
Linking Words
, the revised
rates
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 allow any government to have more income. That can be useful for the development of the country like, new roads and better medical and health services.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the implementation of high
taxes
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 is going to affect pockets of the middle
class
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 or the poor
class
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. The increased price of fast
food
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 will
make
Verb problem
apply
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divert them towards cheap and unhealthier
food
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 stores.
While
Linking Words
 the
riches
Correct your spelling
rich
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class
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 of society will be unbothered by a hike of
food
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, an increment in street foods will definitely force all
food
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 industries to change the
rates
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. It will be hard for many
food
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 chains to survive with the hike. As per a survey, recently almost 20% of
food
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 restaurants have winded up their business.
This
Linking Words
 caused a 1%
of
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apply
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downfall in the income of the government. In conclusion, implementing
taxes
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 on unhealthy
food
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 will distract many towards nutritious
food
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 and will allow to have some extra income for the government In most cases hike in convenience
food
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 will affect both the middle and the poor
class
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. In my ,opinion extra
taxes
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 will not make much impact on the lifestyle of many in society.
Submitted by jaimini2000 on

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task response
In the introduction, clearly state your position (agree or disagree) with the statement in the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the structure of the essay by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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