IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situations?

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More and more highly skilled
workers
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, Like doctors and teachers, are moving out of their developing
countries
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 to
work
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 in rich
countries
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.
this
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 essay will discuss the issues that cause
this
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 situation including
lacking
Wrong verb form
the lack
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 of
professionals
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 in poor
countries
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 and the deterioration of the economy.
this
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 essay will suggest some
solutions
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 to solve
this
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 issue including providing
professionals
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 with well-paid jobs. To start with, there are many problems that happen
due to
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 leaving
professionals
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their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
countries
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. the first is that the number of highly skilled
workers
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 will reduce significantly .
For example
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, in developing
countries
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, people are having serious diseases because of
lacking
Wrong verb form
a lack
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 of doctors and nurses.
Second,
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the economy will
destroy
Wrong verb form
be destroyed
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as
Change preposition
due to
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 a lack of
professionals
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 who are supposed to
work
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 to improve
countries
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.
Overall
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,
this
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 situation might cause a lot of problems which will have a bad effect on developing
countries
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. There are many
solutions
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 to get these issues fixed,
Such
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 as increasing job opportunities and
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
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raising
professionals
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' wages. these
solutions
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 will attract highly skilled
workers
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 to
work
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 in their
countries
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instead
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 of working abroad.
For example
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, in Egypt, Teachers don't
work
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 overseas as they get paid very well.
To sum up
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, authorities should take care of
professionals
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 by providing them with
high-paid
Correct your spelling
high-paying
show examples
 jobs. In conclusion, a large number of
workers
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,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and teachers, prefer to
work
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 in developed
countries
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 to their
countries
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 which ends up having negative effects on their
countries
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 and their economies.
However
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, the essay suggested some
solutions
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 to avoid
this
Linking Words
 issue including increasing job opportunities and wages.

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task response
The essay contains relevant points but lacks in providing a comprehensive response to the task. It needs to ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed in a well-structured manner.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat present but could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks clear progression and organization of ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates an attempt at a range of vocabulary, but there is inconsistency and inaccuracy in the use of lexical resources. It is important to use words accurately and appropriately to convey precise meaning.
grammatical range
There is evidence of a range of complex structures, but there are also noticeable errors and inaccuracies in grammar and sentence construction. This affects the overall clarity and precision of the writing.
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