Crime is a growing problem on a global scale. Some think that crime prevention rather than punishment is the key to solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your position.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Presently, numerous countries face a problem
such
as growing
crime
cases
. As a way to obliterate
this
problem, there is a notion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should punish all criminals.
From my
Change preposition
My
show examples
consideration, I disagree with the proposed contention because it cannot solve
crime
exceptionally. In the following paragraphs, I will detail my paradigm.
To begin
with, a number of
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
cases
are caused by several social issues
such
as poverty and
unemployee
Correct your spelling
unemployment
unemployed
.
For example
, if people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are jobless and live
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
non-wealthiness
Add an article
the non-wealthiness
show examples
line, they will do anything even activities which break
laws
Correct article usage
the laws
show examples
in order to fill their basic interests. Based on the given illustration, the governments have
massive
Add an article
a massive
show examples
responsibility to minimize
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
who do not have
occupation
Add an article
an occupation
show examples
and suffer in poverty
condition
by allocating frequent costs and giving training.
Consequently
, the given scheme will stimulate people to initiate the will of
enterpreneur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
entrepreneurs
.
Moreover
, constructing prevention of unlawful
cases
can be done by making equal
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
among the societies. It is extremely required in view of some actions which are not relevant
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the constructed regulation
exist
Wrong verb form
existing
show examples
by an injustice
condition
.
For instance
, several syndicates break the regulation
due to
they do not acquire justice. In order to solve
this
issue,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public policymakers should concern
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
making fair
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
among
Change preposition
for
show examples
the population.
As a consequence
, later, fair
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
can assist people to cease their commitment to do unlawful activities.
To conclude
, I disagree that giving punishment is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
only activity which can prevent
crime
cases
. Several occasions can be implemented, namely solving poverty and jobless issue and creating fair
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
among the societies.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: