IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Crime is a growing problem on a global scale. Some think that crime prevention rather than punishment is the key to solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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Presently, numerous countries face a problem
such
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 as growing
crime
Use synonyms
cases
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. As a way to obliterate
this
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 problem, there is a notion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should punish all criminals.
From my
Change preposition
My
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 consideration, I disagree with the proposed contention because it cannot solve
crime
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 exceptionally. In the following paragraphs, I will detail my paradigm.
To begin
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 with, a number of
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crime
Replace the word
criminal
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cases
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 are caused by several social issues
such
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 as poverty and
unemployee
Correct your spelling
unemployment
unemployed
.
For example
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, if people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are jobless and live
under
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in
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non-wealthiness
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the non-wealthiness
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 line, they will do anything even activities which break
laws
Correct article usage
the laws
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 in order to fill their basic interests. Based on the given illustration, the governments have
massive
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a massive
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 responsibility to minimize
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 who do not have
occupation
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an occupation
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 and suffer in poverty
condition
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 by allocating frequent costs and giving training.
Consequently
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, the given scheme will stimulate people to initiate the will of
enterpreneur
Correct your spelling
entrepreneur
entrepreneurs
.
Moreover
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, constructing prevention of unlawful
cases
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 can be done by making equal
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
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 among the societies. It is extremely required in view of some actions which are not relevant
with
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to
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 the constructed regulation
exist
Wrong verb form
existing
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 by an injustice
condition
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.
For instance
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, several syndicates break the regulation
due to
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 they do not acquire justice. In order to solve
this
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 issue,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public policymakers should concern
on
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about
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 making fair
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
among
Change preposition
for
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 the population.
As a consequence
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, later, fair
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condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 can assist people to cease their commitment to do unlawful activities.
To conclude
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, I disagree that giving punishment is
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 only activity which can prevent
crime
Use synonyms
cases
Use synonyms
. Several occasions can be implemented, namely solving poverty and jobless issue and creating fair
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 among the societies.

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