IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The repair and restoration of old
buildings
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 require a lot of
money
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. Some individuals think the
money
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 should
instead
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 be spent on building new structures. In my opinion, I agree that the upkeep of old architecture can be a dear process.
However
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, they
also
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 have culture and history associated with them that modern ones do not. Restoring
buildings
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 can take many years, requiring a lot of manpower and time.
For example
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, the individuals who work on these projects require a knowledge of these ancient properties
,
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;
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Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
thus,
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 only certain people can be hired for
this
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 job.
This
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 increases the value of the job,
thus
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 creating an expensive process. The funds for these projects tend to come from
taxpayers
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taxpayers'
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money
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and
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, and
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 so the general public should have a say in whether they want
this
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 to happen. Some people prefer the
money
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 be directed towards new builds. New
buildings
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 are necessary with the increasing population.
For example
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, the homelessness crisis requires structures - it would be better to use resources to create new
buildings
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 to house people. Not only that
but
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, but
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 with an increase in population, more room is required for the growth of industry too
,
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;
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therefore
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therefore,
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 monuments like office
buildings
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 and schools,
etc
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etc,
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 need to be built. In my opinion, there is scope for both. We should preserve history and culture by restoring old
buildings
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. The methods are centuries old and so would be beneficial for the newer generation to learn from
,
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;
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however
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,
due to
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 the current climate
there
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, there
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 is a need for new
buildings
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 too.
Therefore
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, both conditions should be managed.

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task response
In the intro, state your view clearly. A strong first line should say where you stand.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go from one part to the next, such as 'also', 'but', 'however', and 'for example'.
content
Give more proof for your points. Small facts or numbers help to back up what you say.
structure
Make one idea in each paragraph and end with a line that ties back to your view.
task response
The essay shows a balance of old and new by talking about both sides.
coherence
The ending gives a view that both sides can work.
content
There are real examples like homelessness and growth to show points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical significance
  • cultural heritage
  • renovation
  • restoration
  • architectural value
  • environmentally friendly
  • community identity
  • cost efficiency
  • sustainable development
  • unique character
  • sense of place
  • long-term maintenance
  • modern construction
  • initial costs
  • economic benefits
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