Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued by many that
technology
is making people
more active whereas
, others believe that this
is making folks less interactive. However
, I am of the opinion that advancement plays a crucial role in communication I will discuss further
in this
essay below.
To begin
with, there is a community that says advanced technology
is the reason for many individuals to communicate and make more relations either at the workplace or in the family. Moreover
, it is true because these days long distances are covered in no time people
can talk with faraway people
and watch them on a daily basis just by a click of a button. For instance
, in the case of covid situation, everyone is isolated in their house which reduced
the communication gap so here Wrong verb form
reduces
technology
plays a vital role to bring
Change preposition
in bringing
people
together and start
their work online without any hassle.
Wrong verb form
starting
Furthermore
, in past years no one can
send their children for higher studies abroad but now parents are aware that they can watch their children Wrong verb form
could
while
growing there
and chat on a daily basis so, it becomes easier for them to keep an eye on them from long distance as well.
Rephrase
up there
On the other hand
, the group of people
says that it reduced the gathering people
usually avoid meeting with each other physically and they are thinking that it puts a negative impact on their personality. Consequently
, they feel shy when greeting others hence
, try to avoid such
meetings and prefer to stay at home and enjoy their own pace. For example
, most of the companies now start doing work from home and folks are preferring that job more as compared to the ones at the office. Therefore
, they are in favor
Change the spelling
favour
that is
the leading cause of being less sociable but, I think they are not right because one can make good deals online as well and interact with others in a good way.
In conclusion, although
science has reduced the distance and facilitated individuals to work at their own places and also
introduce
the connection between the Wrong verb form
introduced
citizen
and foreign Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
people
as well. So, in my opinion, technology
makes it easier and makes people
more sociable than any other means.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and focus on specific aspects of the argument. More thorough analysis and development of arguments is needed to fully address the task.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, the body paragraphs lack clear transitions and cohesive devices to connect ideas and arguments. More attention to logical sequencing and coherence within paragraphs is necessary.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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