Some people think that the best way to ensure road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

One of many controversial debates in solving
traffic
issues is related to how to improve
traffic
safety
. There is a belief held by some individuals that the most comprehensive approach to promoting road
safety
is to raise the minimum legal
age
for operating cars or motorcycles.
Although
it can reduce careless driving;
however
, I mostly disagree since it is ideal to combine various approaches.
This
essay will analyse two factors which contribute to my opinion. First of all, increasing the minimum legal
age
for driving automobiles or motorcycles is expected to reduce the number of accidents involving inexperienced
drivers
. To be more specific, the young are statistically known to be involved in accidents
due to
their lack of experience on the road,
thus
increasing the minimum legal
age
could potentially reduce
this
risk.
However
,
this
method may bring negative consequences.
For instance
, it could limit the mobility and independence of young people who may need to travel for school, work, or other important activities, which could lead to increased demand for public transportation and other alternatives.
Thus
reducing
safety
when using public automobiles.
On the other hand
,
this
proposal is not optimal by itself since there are two other effective measures which should
leverage
Wrong verb form
be leveraged
show examples
for more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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outcomes in
traffic
safety
. Chief of these is that the government should enact more severe punishments to prevent
drivers
from committing
traffic
-based infringements. Case in point,
drivers
who exceed the speed limit or drink alcohol
while
driving should have to pay a heavy monetary fine or have their driver’s license revoked.
As a result
, more
drivers
will obey the rules
while
joining the
traffic
. Another approach is for the government to enhance the public transportation infrastructure
such
as bus and train services to encourage citizens to use them in their daily life.
This
can lead to a decline in the number of people utilizing private vehicles and
therefore
safer roads. In conclusion, I disagree that increasing the legal driving
age
can encourage safer travelling, as I believe that other solutions
such
as punishments
on
Change preposition
for
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those who violate
traffic
laws and the enhancement of public transportation combine to make the most viable solution since not all accidents are caused by underage
drivers
.
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay directly address the task question and provide a clear stance on the issue. Make sure there is a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and summarize the main points effectively. To improve, ensure that the body paragraphs have clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • driving/riding
  • maturity
  • decision-making abilities
  • risky behavior
  • graduated driving programs
  • extended learning periods
  • strict testing
  • continuous education
  • advanced driver training
  • traffic laws enforcement
  • advanced driver-assistance systems (ADAS)
  • accidents reduction
  • statistical evidence
  • real-world examples
  • public awareness campaigns
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