In many countries, children are engaged in part-time jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There are a lot of countries where

children

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work in different half-time jobs. Some

people

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believe part-time work is on behalf of the

children

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as they can learn real-

life

Use synonyms

earlier

while

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others think

this

Linking Words

situation can negatively affect the youngster`s psychology. I believe that the disadvantages of

this

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trend vastly outweigh the advantages.

Firstly

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, starting to work

life

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at a very early age can provide a better understanding of reality for young

people

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. If you start a

job

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while

Linking Words

you are a

child

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yet, you can realize how much effort you must make to earn a good salary. Many

people

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become aware of

this

Linking Words

situation very late, so they struggle with their profession, and they wonder if they gave the correct decision by choosing their field.

In addition

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to that, finding a

job

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with an individual`s particular interest in early

life

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can give them some ideas about it and

people

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assess their feelings for the future.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a part-time occupation can provide money to students.

Thus

Linking Words

, with their earnings

children

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can afford their books, computers and

this

Linking Words

profit can be a positive effect on their study

life

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, I believe there are some side effects of working

while

Linking Words

child

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For example

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, being engaged with a half-time

job

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can lead lack of energy for school.

Due to

Linking Words

heavy duties, youngsters can suffer from exhaustion.

Therefore

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, they can come face-to-face with low marks in school and be unsuccessful.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the majority of the population believes that being independent in the very early stage of

life

Use synonyms

can negatively affect a

child

Use synonyms

`s mental health. As a

child

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, they should spend their free time playing games, socializing with other

children

Use synonyms

, and making different activities. Giving heavy duties to a

child

Use synonyms

and forcing them to earn money can create big damage to the juvenile`s social behaviour. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are a few advantages of working,

such

Linking Words

as making a profit and trial for the profession, in a part-time

job

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for

children

Use synonyms

, there are serious negative effects

also

Linking Words

as it uploads a difficult workload to a

child

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. I believe that a kid`s mental well-being and having a healthy

life

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are much more important than making money.

Therefore

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, the demerits outweigh the merits.

sezencizmecigil

Jun 30, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

370 words

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In many countries, children are engaged in part-time jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some film companies spend millions of dollars on the production of a single movie. It is necessary to spend a lot of money to make a good movie? What factors contribute to the success of a movie? (Steve no copyright)

Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?