Many children these days have their own mobile phones what are the advantage and disadvantage of it.

#children #phones #advantage

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, there are a significant number of youngsters who are given a mobile phone

from

Change preposition

show examples

their parents.

While

Linking Words

it offers a few advantages, there are

also

Linking Words

some disadvantages which are worth considering. There are two main benefits to our

children

Use synonyms

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

their own mobile phones.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it can help parents to communicate easily with their pupils.

The

Correct article usage

show examples

good example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

is that many adults, especially in the big cities do not have time to contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their kids since they are busy with their job.

As a result

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older people need

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communication media in order to interact with their

children

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, young individuals usually use their

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

to find

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

information. In

this

Linking Words

era, if

millineals

Correct your spelling

millennials

have difficulties in doing their homework, they will search

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

answers

Change preposition

show examples

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

devices are very useful to increase

children

Use synonyms

's desire to study and obtain good scores.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, various drawbacks may be noted in owning a mobile phone for

children

Use synonyms

. In the first place, they will become an introvert person and do not want to have interaction with other people. The reason for

this

Linking Words

is that they

prefer

Add the particle

toprefer

show examples

focus

with

Change preposition

show examples

their gadget to communicate with their mates.

Therefore

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters would rather

doing

Change the verb form

be doing

show examples

their

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

individually than in

team

Add an article

a team

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

sometimes use their mobile phones not for studying but for playing games. In extreme circumstances,

that

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

habits will decrease their school rank as their laziness to learn the lessons. In conclusion, the utilization of mobile phones

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

positive impacts

for

Change preposition

show examples

young people in communication with their relatives and searching

information

Change preposition

for information

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it provides negative consequences for them in becoming an unsocialized person and

children

Use synonyms

are lazy to study.

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents should think

the

Change preposition

about the

show examples

merits of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

before giving

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

to their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

although

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have numerous merits as well.

Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on Fri Jun 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Many people prefer to use public transportation while others say that personal cars are the best mode of transportation. Excessive use of private cars is considered to be the main reason for the traffic jam in many cities and that's why the use of public transportation is encouraged. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of using public transport?
Excessive use of private cars is considered to be the main reason for congestion in many cities. In contrast, public transport offers several benefits that can significantly mitigate this issue. This essay will discuss the primary influences of using public transport based on my understanding.
5.5
band
in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
Nowadays, the majority of people in the world suffer from starvation while we have witnessed agricultural advancement. In my opinion, progressing in agriculture isn't enough to provide food for all people and we need to improve food transportation, and all areas should be able to exploit this advancement. In this essay, I will discuss reasons and solutions for this issue.
7.5
band
Today, an increasing number of younger individuals have to compete with older generations for the same positions. What challenges arise from this situation? What solutions would you propose?
These days, a lot of younger people need to compete with people who are older for the same career. As a result, young people will have to compete with older people who have more experience, which might mean some young people fail to find work. In addition, high unemployment among young people can cause unrest in society, leading to problems such as crime. However, these issues can be tackled by providing sufficient social benefits for older people to allow them to retire without losing their standard of living.
6
band
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Over the last ten years, western societies have seen close to a 20% rise in the number of children who are overweight. This essay will discuss some reasons why this has occurred and examine the consequences of this worrying trend.
<4
band
Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is arguied that homeschooling is better than tipical learning at scholl, for students mature, while others think opposite. Despite, loneliness, from private classes, there are benifits as better marks, and flexible schedulle that overweight the drawbacks.

Many children these days have their own mobile phones what are the advantage and disadvantage of it.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Today, an increasing number of younger individuals have to compete with older generations for the same positions. What challenges arise from this situation? What solutions would you propose?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.