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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar graph illustrates the outcomes of a survey about
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and drinking habits in five major urban areas in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks is the most popular in all given cities,
whereas
Linking Words
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks is the
lasts
Fix the agreement mistake
last
show examples
 popular. Looking at the chart in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, regarding
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Melbourne cities showed the highest
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
almost 63 %,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide showed the lowest proportion
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately 49 %.
The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
hobart
Change the capitalization
Hobart
show examples
 and Sydney
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 very close percentage
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
62 and 61 % ,respectively. In terms of bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brisbance
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 and Hobart was the highest percentage about 54 and 52 % , respectively,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sydney was the lowest almost 45%. Regarding
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 the top percentage was for Sydney and Melbourne around 44 and 43 %, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brisbance
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 and Adelaide
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar and lowest proportion
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
around 34%.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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