The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The bar graph illustrates the outcomes of a survey about
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
coffee
and tea purchasing and drinking habits in five major urban areas in Australia.
Overall
,
it is clear that
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to a café for
coffee
or tea in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
4 weeks is the most popular in all given cities,
whereas
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
fresh
coffee
in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
4 weeks is the
lasts
Fix the agreement mistake
last
show examples
popular. Looking at the chart in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, regarding
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to a café for
coffee
or tea
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Melbourne cities showed the highest
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
almost 63 %,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Adelaide showed the lowest proportion
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately 49 %.
The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
hobart
Change the capitalization
Hobart
show examples
and Sydney
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
very close percentage
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
62 and 61 % ,respectively. In terms of bought instant
coffee
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brisbance
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
and Hobart was the highest percentage about 54 and 52 % , respectively,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sydney was the lowest almost 45%. Regarding
bought
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
fresh
coffee
the top percentage was for Sydney and Melbourne around 44 and 43 %, respectively.
In contrast
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Brisbance
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
and Adelaide
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar and lowest proportion
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
around 34%.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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