IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to solve global environment problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #environment #cost #fuel
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Some people think that the greatest method to resolve environmental problems in the world is to raise the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
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fuel
Use synonyms
 . Personally, I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion. On the one hand , I agree with the opinion that
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 is likely to solve environmental problems.
Firstly
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, when the
cost
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 of raw fuels increases, the producers will reduce the exploitation frequency , thereby,
it avoids
Wrong verb form
avoiding
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 affecting significantly the natural environment.
For instance
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, when gas and oil
prices
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 soar , producers will reduce the exploitation of these materials.
Secondly
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, if the
fuel
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prices
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 are costly, consumers will reduce the use of machines that pollute the environment.
For example
Linking Words
, using less transport will reduce the amount of smoke emitted.
On the other hand
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, I disagree with boosting the
cost
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 of
fuel
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, high
fuel
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prices
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 may have converse impacts on people’s lives, especially the poor. Take the unbalanced economy in Vietnam in 2022 as an example, the reason comes from the jump of Petro, which leads to the growth of other industries
such
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 as service and transport.
This
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 causes many difficulties for residents. They cannot afford
this
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fuel
Use synonyms
 ,so they have to limit the use of machines.
This
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 issue will reduce their income.
Secondly
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, an increase in
fuel
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prices
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 will lead to an increase in other machines and food. people will not have enough money to buy food or other items to use for their life. In conclusion, the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 is both
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 and levelling off in many aspects. Personally, I partly agree with
this
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 issue.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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task response
Expand on the introduction to provide a clearer overview of your stance on the issue
task response
Include a stronger concluding paragraph to summarize your arguments and opinion
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs
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