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Band 5.5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest.

#criminals #crimes #prison
It is apparent nowadays that criminals tend to lapse back into their old
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 after they get out of prison. We will discuss the causes of
this
 situation and possible solutions which can be taken into account in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons which can lead to
this
 circumstance.
Firstly
, society has a hard bias toward individuals who commit crimes and go to prison.
This
 leads to the fact that people who complete their sentences find it difficult to find an occupation. Because of that, they have no other options except
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
 illegal activities to survive. Another reason is that prisoners are often surrounded by other ones which accidentally creates a bad living environment.
This
 results from the truth that prison is called the university of criminals, so they can learn other bad behaviours from their cellmates. With that in mind, they tend to become more dangerous and commit additional other crimes after being released. To tackle these issues, there are
also
 some promising solutions which can be considered. First of all, the government should create job training programs to educate offenders when they are in jail.
This
 helps to create occupation opportunities for offenders when they are free. Society is
also
 more secure because the rate of committing crime again decreases.
Moreover
, categorizing convicts in different areas is
also
 important to create a better living habitat. Crime committers should be divided by their sentence to avoid learning each other's terrible habits. In conclusion, it is a serious issue that many criminals
convict
Wrong verb form
are convicted
show examples
 of more crimes when they accomplish their sentence, but I think the above solutions can be taken into account to deal with
this
 circumstance.
Submitted by khoitvhe130007 on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify and develop the ideas more thoroughly. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points. Provide more relevant examples to support the arguments.
task response
Address all aspects of the task prompt, provide a more comprehensive and clear response, and use specific examples to support the ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
What to do next:
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