Women can do everything that men can and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But it is a fact that their work is not appreciated as much as men, although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. What do you think?

The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
has been looking at
women
and
men
in different
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
. Even god has created them with different traits. But it has been differentiated by religion and
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
practice from ancient times.
Let
Add a missing verb
Let's
show examples
discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views in
this
essay.
Firstly
,
men
and
women
are not physically equal.
It’s
due to
their genetics and stamina aren’t
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
.
For instance
, Olympics sports are separated by gender
thus
it’s
not fair enough to play without equal components.
Moreover
,
Men
are physically stronger than
Women
.
However
,
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
could not bear the pains which
women
faces
Change the verb form
face
show examples
in their life.
For example
,
firstly
when a girl
attend
Change the verb form
attends
show examples
puberty , she gets her
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
show examples
every month , literally till gets 40 years old.
Thus
monthly she has to bear cramps , cravings , mood swings and many more.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
when a
women
Change the noun form
woman
show examples
gets pregnant throughout the pregnancy time for nine months she has to sacrifice a lot for that child.
Lastly
,
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving birth
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
tougher for her.
Child birth
Correct your spelling
Childbirth
show examples
is the most painful and endangerment for a female.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
men
cannot bear these pains though
it’s
not appreciated by
Men
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
totally abusive.
Secondly
,
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are not applauded.
It’s
mainly
men
thinks
Correct pronoun usage
who thinks
show examples
women
should be below them,
shouldn’t
Correct word choice
and shouldn’t
show examples
treat them equally.
For instance
, if a lady employee did a great job for the company but
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
not much appreciated
due to
gender inequality. It has been happening from ancient times till now bastards expect and let them be only in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
and do only house works and look after
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
.
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
men
doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
show examples
appreciate
women
’s
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
and
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
However
,
this
traditionally
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
in India and most of the
country’s
Change the noun form
countries
country
show examples
. In conclusion ,
Men
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
physically stronger than
women
can be accepted
thus
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are not appreciated
also
can be verified ,
lastly
Add a comma
,lastly
show examples
I totally agree with
this
notion.
Submitted by zahraasmi2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: